Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Derby Dames

Happy New Year! 

At least we know for a fact that Trump won't get elected and ascend his tacky Russian mob-built tower of flagrant lies and misogyny to rule over us all, with his tiny orange fist punching the Twitter machine and bringing us closer to thermonuclear war with each passing day, right?!
Actually, that entire second part is the horrible daily reality of this Universe B, isn't it?!

Welp, back to October!

Erin was nice enough to treat me to a late lunch at Green, which I really don't recommend, unfortunately. It was weirdly bland, amateurish, and unappealing, hence her and her son's choice of French fries (one Animal Style, one with not-nuggets). That's pretty bad list of adjectives even when most of your food isn't pre-made and frozen..

Looks good, right? Nope! Pretty sure the broccoli was uncooked, and this is supposed to be curry?! Where the fuck is the curry?! I don't taste anything! You pricks, you had one job. I was excited for adult human-sized portions of food. Sigh.

While at Green Erin saw not one but two people she used to hang out with at goth clubs and didn't want anything to do with, and she was pretty sure they were also in the neighbourhood to go to the derby that night. She really, really was not interested, and I don't blame her; I definitely wouldn't have been if someone I knew from college (who also studied Japanese and lived in Japan) wasn't on the Mad Max-themed Doomsday Valkyries team, and I wasn't visiting the States for possibly the last time and more down to enjoy some quintessentially American things (re: Pumpkin Spice™) than usual.

Another friend from many many moons ago, Jessica, was supposed to meet me at the venue, but she never made it on account of car trouble. Sans wifi, I only stopped looking around and decided it must have been something like that about ten minutes into the game.

It's State Fair season. Both Green and the Hall of Dames are on McDowell.

The venue is a very long building surrounded by industrial lots.
And junkyard good boys!

This is the team, with like the best theme.

This bout was a double-header, but I was pretty tired after the first one (thankfully the one Becker Wrecker was in!) and didn't stay for the second. Mostly I just wanted to see her, see this sport once just to get the idea, and practice taking photos full of fast movement. At this point they were also playing I Am a Revenant by The Distillers over the speakers. Approved.

I think I did pretty okay. Everyone assumed I was a professional, which is always convenient.

This other team here, in the hot pink, is the Brutal Beauties.




One of the several times I tried to get Beckeraaaaaaand she's gone :/

"Don't even bitch"

Here she is! 
It turns out I had been sitting right next to her family, and she had never introduced them to who she's dating until just then, and like, there was a lot going on. A whole crowd of people wanted to chat, and we basically just said "Hi".

Talking to her mom - the first of the halftime photos I took that I really like.

This is probably my favourite.

This one, also like

Thank you for posing, calavera de azucar from another team!

Pretty sure this is an actual scene from Whip It, look how adorable these two are and how I'm just inserting myself into their private moment lol

One of the teams waiting to engage in the second bout of very mild carnage that I didn't stay for


Finally, if you were wondering, I also like this one a lot. 

The dames in question, the Valkyries, unfortunately lost this bout (and their next one), but it was very close right up until the last few minutes. 
Once it had started I definitely felt like I should have read about the rules online first, and one of the reasons I mostly stayed on one end of the ring trying to get decent shots was that I was listening in on a fan guy's explanations (genuinely enthusiastic and knowledgeable ones, don't worry, he wasn't mansplaining) to his girlfriend of what was going on. Because I mean, like, it's really hard to tell when it's just a solid mass of people orbiting the arena. I'll be totally honest and admit that I was expecting and kind of hoping it would be more violent, but I very much respect people who can actually do all of this on roller skates for an hour.

As I was walking back to my mom's car, I ran into Becca and Hurricane May (blonde leaning over the rail smiling). They were going out to May's car in search of her purse, which seemed to have disappeared from the locker room. It was kind of a long walk, for a quick errand like that, and it felt weirdly serendipitous that I managed to cross paths with Becca outside. Being able to chat a bit more was nice, and if poor May hadn't been all stressed out (as far as I saw, she didn't find her purse) I would've taken a few spooky shots of them under street lights in front of chain link fences and stuff.

I've never been a sports person in the slightest, and it's true that I didn't understand the game I was watching, but I'd recommend hitting up a roller derby if you get the chance. Bad bitches in face paint with funny raunchy nicknames shoulder checking each other at high speeds in booty shorts and fishnets, why would that not be great?

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