Wednesday, September 25, 2013

13 Jeremy Scott Runway Dresses I Wish I Owned

Oh, doesn't every girl daydream about being wealthy and influential enough to pluck textilesy things from couture collections at will? Even though repeating patterns have always been my thing (and Scott comes up with dozens of amazing ones), I didn't have a hard time zeroing in on what I'd want, in that hypothetical fantasy world of being able to choose. 

Here it goes!

13 The Autumn '12 Rainbow Brick Dress

This one got quite a bit of press, a full-blown head-to-toe rainbow probably being the most accurate way to depict the entire threw-a-bunch-of-acid-and-PCP-in-a-blender collection.

The fabric seems to have a rich, liquidy, reflective quality, and I love that the red bricks begin again on the bottom, balancing it out. Creating those kinds of lines speaks of understanding perfect psychotic clown composition. Aw yiss.  

         12 The Spring '13 AK-47 Dress

This whole collection was confusing to look at. It was as if a bunch of Middle Eastern strippers, basketball players and construction workers got together in the mid-90's and - with a very specific and limited colour and pattern palette - decided to make some sociopolitical statments on the runway. I...  I don't know.

Either way, you've gotta love the sort of Mad Max-y, 80's postapocalyptic quality of a sheer mesh dress covered in big dangly semi-automatic weapons. Snag easily though they might, they'd earn you some major punk rock points.

11 The Let Them Eat Gas Offshoulder Roses & Planes Dress

Oh the 80's. This print makes me think of Betsey Johnson, too. 

Necklines that show off the shoulders and collar bone and half or 3/4 sleeves are more flattering on me.. You can burn the others. -casually checks nails and discards a strapless gown-


       10 Fall '13 Death Sweater Dress

This somewhat whimsical monster-themed collection is very Halloweeny and reminds me of high school and The Misfits. 

If this dress had one of the funnier 2013 slogans on it, though, such as "Earth Sucks", "I'm a Mess" or "Adults Suck Then You Are One", I'd like it even more. 

9 The Opulence Cherubim Party Dress

I'm not sure what it is about this one; it looks like Forever 21 couture. Maybe that's it. Maybe it's the accessibility and being able to think of it as something I could actually put on. 

Either way, I do love me some repeating patterns and dark, rich, earthy tones. The window treatment-esque ruching at the bottom is a nice dimension-adding detail, too.

8 The Opulence Grandfather Clock Sweater Dress

This model is standing stupidly, so you can't see the strong puff shoulders that well here. The gown version of this one is beautiful, too. I'm thinking the design must appeal to the massively 80's Batcave goth aesthetic I developed as a young teenager.

7 The Happy Daze Jukebox Dress

Holy acetate and wool, Batman, another sweater dress! And it's not even the last one. It's a nice kitschy piece of Americana to be sure, and while I'm not a big fan of symmetry in general, I do love geometric shapes and lots of structure in clothes. 

The purple guitar sweater dress that keeps this one company was definitely a contender for this list because it would flatter curves, but guitar designs are kind of trite and played out, especially compared to this stroke of pop art genius.

6 The Boudoir Bombshell Skeleton Dress

Ok, here's a break from the sweater dresses. I think the fact that this one is sheer not only makes it look breezy and comfortable, but it also gives the impression of an X-ray. 

Not that skeletal structures are a new and revolutionary concept as president of the fashion club, I wear one every day.

5 The Let Them Eat Gas Troll de Jolie Party Dress

In high school I designed a recycled Marie Antoinette-inspired party dress much like this that I subsequently half-assedly made out of a thin old cotton blanket with a washed-out pale blue floral (instead of toile) print. 

If I were a professional and had the patience to learn how to sew something right, I'd like to think it would have looked something like this. Therefore, in the spirit of that story, I should get one for free. Because logic.


        4 The Fall '13 Pop Punk Dress

Let's all just go ahead and ignore the fact that this is probably a hoodie over a sheer skirt and think about how much we want it anyway. I guess that's the royal "we", I don't know, because I'm just talking about myself. 

I totally dig the 90's-ness of the bright rainbow chakra placement-reminiscent symbols. Very New Age. Plus I do love sheer skirts, and no wardrobe is complete without ass-kicking thigh-high skull print boots. I shall expect delivery within a fortnight.

3 The Fall '12 Emoticon Sweater Dress

I originally had this amusing jokey number as my #1, but have since switched things around. The number of people who cocked their heads to one side and curled their lips at this particular collection before putting it on every Worst This and That list they could think of was fairly impressive, but I wanted this one as soon as I saw it. 
It's like the cracked out version of my Minnie Muse sweater.

2 The Hanger Appeal Stained Glass Bodice Dress

My first thought upon seeing this one was that I'd wear it with Black Milk's cathedral leggings. UGH, GOD. IF ONLY. TO BE RICH!

I was also convinced that, mere moments after first posting that thought, I'd surely see said combination on some wealthy fashionista and be ready to hang myself with one of my belts, all of which are non-designer and only three of which I brought to Seoul. So many first world problems.

1 The Spring '12 Yellow and Green Gunslinger Dress

And now, the possibly anticlimactic piece de resistance, which I bumped up to #1 because I've been going through a very nostalgic phase for a while now and downloading 90's cartoons all day.

I really like the white cactus print dress and its bubblegum pink holster belt, too, but this one has a more dynamic print with more dimension, and I can see myself wearing this particular cut (refer to #11) if I close my eyes and pretend I could have it one day.

Also, Rocko's Modern Life.

Well, there's my list. I thought about putting in something from the new 1960's space and TV age-themed Jeremy Scott Spring 2014 collection, but honestly, it wasn't as amazing as some of the others. There are a couple more things I do want to add to this, though. 

First: I also want the Poodles in Space batwing mini dress. If you Google "Poodles in Space" you'll come up with some pretty ridiculous poodle pictures - or at least you used to before the shoes actually started coming up - most of which are from a reality show/documentary about competitive grooming called Extreme Poodles. I recommend it. I also recommend not being sober if you do watch it.

It's too bad this is the only picture I can find of the dress being worn..
It's from a boutique (in L.A. I think) and this bitch has some random
leggings draped over her shoulders and whatnot. 
Second: Scott's wide range of lovable pop culture references crack me up, especially the Opulence curtain rod dress. 

"I saw it in the window and couldn't resist."

Here's the Gone With the Wind Carol Burnett parody skit it's from:

All of the images I've used are ©Jeremy Scott.

(Originally Published 2.25.12)

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